My eyes get lighter, I am less groggy, roused from a night of recuperation and recovery from a more-than-slightly-fucked-up body clock, I feel the cold tiles beneath my feet. Staggering with aim, I find myself before the mirror. Hair all messed up, face all pale, in need of a brushing between my lips. I gargle, then I feel the foam-laced water purge from my mouth. I herald the new day, not with much anticipation, but still mentally prepping myself to take it on.

The flick of a switch, that old familiar whirring sound of the CPU fan, I am in front of the monitor once again. I gaze and stare, before unknowingly pulling myself off the chair to look into the fridge and kitchen cabinet. I plan ahead and make a quick mental note in my head the ingredients I need depending on training or rest days. I pick out eggs, tuna, sometimes pasta, sometimes rice, sometimes peas and mixed vegetables. Some days tasteless and bland as fuck, some days reasonable, while good tasting shit is seriously infrequent. I obey myself with fervent discipline and dedication. Chowing down every bit, thinking of filling a machine with fuel instead of having a meal.

I move back to the computer, staring and gazing, preparing myself for the arduous task ahead if the day is THE DAY. Slowly I feel the food digesting and going down, I turn off the machine in front of me, while I awaken the one inside of me. In front of the mirror yet again, I splash the cold droplets on my face, I tidy up my hair, I look in front and I see an animal waiting to rush the gates. I stare and reflect, I see cuts, I see sinews, I see scars and I see battle wounds that were licked over and over again. I get angry, I start to feel like the kid who never gets the toy he wanted. I walk away and I tell myself, "And here we go again...".

I fill up my bottle with powder. I chuck it into my bag, I chuck my beanie in, and finally my towel as well as straps and wrist guard on certain days. I unlock the human-powered vehicle in front of me, I pedal with a goal in mind, I pedal so that I can reach the destination that would push my mind and body beyond its limits. I wanna hear the sound of iron clanging, I wanna see rust on my hands, I wanna feel beads of frustration roll down my face. I step in, I taste the air inside, I taste TODAY, I taste now or never. On the grind again, I feel poundages resting on appendages, I feel poundages hanging above me, but most of all I feel the blood rushing and pumping through my veins and I feel alive. I throw worries and frustrations out the window, I don't feel the outside world, I feel like a carnivorous animal after its prey. It's intense, it's not easy, and it's not for the faint-hearted. I rejoice in the fact that I'm here, I rejoice in the fact that I'm in a zone so comfortable I forget the time.

I step out, only to realize that I've been inside for quite awhile. But I feel good, I ache and I'm sore, but I feel great. I ride home with satisfaction and contentment even though I'm a slave to this routine. So who gives a fuck about the new year or the past one? It's the same old shit, but different year for me.

It seems that everytime I post an entry, it's always a contemplation of the past. Well, I guess sometimes it's good to review what you've done and shit like that, and it's also probably due to the fact that I'm not really keen on reporting what I've done on the day of said entry or whatever.

But oh well, I'm finally out of school, for the second time in the row too! I'm just not that keen on education right now, some might say I'm foolish, but hey at least I know what I want. I don't wanna take the beaten path and walk on that road most travelled on, at least right now. Maybe National Service will free up my mind, or maybe not, I don't know, since it's pretty much a waste of time anyway.

I'm somehow glad and relieved to be out of school as well, I don't look forward to classes, and dragging myself to classes everyday to slog it out until I get a diploma just seems so unrealistic. As for anyone whom I've hung out with in class and in school, cheers, otherwise, fuck off and die. And yeah, there are some people whom I was kinda "close" to last time but are kinda forgotten nowadays, but well, big deal. Weeeeeeeeeeeee.

It has been long before I've decided to seek solace in words once again. It's been a new year, but everything's still the same old. Maybe I'd finally work towards many of my goals this year, but years meant nothing, years came and went, and I'm already oblivious to its passing. Pretty much has happened within the past 2-3 years. I've met some very important people in my life, and I've met some people who are better off not knowing as well. I've met people who showed me what this existence is all about, and I've met people whom I shouldn't really be wasting my time with. Among the important people I've met, there are really special people who had made a positive impact on me, and these are probably the same people I enjoy spending time with, having nice little conversations here and there and more often than not over a butt-load of alcohol (cheap-ass whiskey) and two dozen cancersticks.

There are also people I've probably forgotten over the time, and so, then they're probably not important, 'cause the past meant FUCK ALL.

Sometimes, some people think that they're ever important, but always remember...

YOU DON'T FUCKING OWN THE WORLD.